Jim kissed my hand and advised me as I was leaving,"Always work as little as possible. Make sure you're fullering!"
At the time, I had no idea what he was referring to, but it turns out Jim Haynes has coined a new word, "fullering," (in honor of Buckminster Fuller) meaning "to spend energy joyfully" as opposed to working which means "to spend energy painfully."
If anyone is a model of fullering, it's Jim Haynes. An expat artist who was a key figure in the London counter-culture of the '60s, Jim has been hosting a Sunday dinner party for the literati set at his Paris home for over 30 years.
When I first heard about his infamous get-togethers, I was doing research on a recent trip to Paris and I knew I had to try to attend. They are notoriously hard to get into and I e-mailed Jim only a week in advance, but somehow I was able to wrangle five spots for me and my family.
Dinner is always made by a different friend of Jim's. There are usually between 50-60 guests--sometimes more, especially when the weather is nice--and you have full use of his backyard garden. It gets pretty dark back there though at night, so I'd bring a flashlight (seriously). The dinner was pretty good--the night I was there, we had an endive, walnut, and stilton salad, chicken and ratatouille, and some kind of rice pudding-ish thing for dessert--but the conversation's the thing.
Most of the guests at Jim's dinners are strangers to him and also to one another and I think that's the way he likes it. There are regulars, certainly--in fact a few people I met had been there a couple weekends in a row--but by and large, these are "salons" as Jim likes to call them that bring together people from all over the world for a few hours in Jim's home to drink wine, break bread, and talk in a civilized manner about the things that matter in life--art, politics, travel, music, literature.
There are rules to the game, of course. So for you newbies out there, some tips:
1) Call or e-mail Jim as far in advance as you can with the number of people in your party, their genders, and the date you want to attend. Be polite and friendly.
2) Be sure to call Jim to confirm the morning of your booking. There is always a waiting list.
3) Sunday dinners begin at 8 and end at 11. Jim lives in Montparnasse in the 14th arr. From the Champs-Elysees we had to switch trains and the ride took about 20-30 mins not including walking to/from the Metro.
4) The suggested donation is 25 euros per person (although they will accept more or less). Bring one envelope containing the total donation for your party in cash (plus business cards if you have those) and make sure you write your names on the back.
5) Dress is casual and comfortable. You don't need to bring any gifts (in fact, he specifically asked me not to). Just bring an appetite and a mindset for connecting with new friends.
6) Keep your fork.
7) *Do not serve yourself.* I was standing in line for the second course and a woman in front of me took some leftover salad. Let's just say she got a stern talking-to from one of Jim's friends. (The reason is in case people show up late.)
A Jim Haynes dinner is something to enjoy at least once in your life. He's having a special 2010 New Year's Eve soiree btw. There might still be room...have fun!
Listen to Jim Haynes talk about why he holds these Sunday dinners on NPR.
P.S. La Regle du Jeu means "rule of the game" and often refers to the 1933 Jean Renoir film of the same name (although in English it is usually called "The Rules of the Game"). It's one of my faves. Check it out.
